BURRRRRR

It is COLD in Stuttgart today! Two days ago, it was GORGEOUS outside. Sun shining, birds singing, gentle breeze blowing. But it didn't last. While the kids and I played at the playground after school, the clouds rolled in and it got DARK. Then, the rain started to fall. We had to run home (Shane LOVED getting wet!) It rained all night Tuesday and all day yesterday. Today, it is foggy. And cold. Now, I am not complaining. Well, maybe a little. It is only in the 30's and everyone tells me this is nothing compared to what is to come. For me, it is cold enough! A lot of life in Germany takes place outside, so they have the motto, "There is no such thing as bad weather, just inadequate clothing." I'm in trouble! I like it warm and sunny. Preferably with an ocean nearby. So, right now, before my small witness, Shane and his noisy toy, I am making this declaration, "This is the day the Lord has made, I will rejoice and be glad in it." Okay, I feel better. Now, time to bundle up and head out into the wretched elements for a walk through the vinyards. Or, a nice cup of coffee sounds good too ...

Today

Today my friend's husband leaves for a 6 month deployment to Afghanistan. He is Special Forces, so chances are, their ability to communicate will be very limited. She shared with me on Monday, as we sat together for prayer, that it is not the fact he will be in harm's way that breaks her heart. She settled that issue long ago with the Lord, understanding her husband's life is in God's hands. When it is his time to go, he will go, regardless of whether he is in a war zone, or sitting on the couch watching Sunday afternoon football. Instead, for her, the pain comes just thinking about the absence of his friendship. The late night conversations ... the laughing together ... the ability to feel close and connected, even when sitting in silence ... the sharing of the parenting.

It was hard for me to keep from busting into tears while talking with her! In fact, I have shed quite a few on behalf of their family. I know what they are going through! Living without Greg's daily input in my life and the life of our family was so hard. Like my friend, I asked the Lord early on in Greg's deployment to take away any fear I might have of losing him. He answered that prayer. I was able to sleep at night. The loneliness, however, was a daily struggle. I remember a time I was able to go shopping at the mall by myself. Normally, I would have relished that time of peace and quiet ... to try on a pair of pants without having to keep 3 children in line! But that particular day, the silence was defeaning. All I could think about was that I was shopping and enjoying a cup of coffee from Starbucks while my husband was in a life-threatening war zone. My shopping day was cut short.

Thankfuly, God was faithful. When I felt alone, He brought comfort. Through His Word (For I know the plans I have for you ... to give you a future and a HOPE ...). Through the kindness of an amazing church family. Through the encouragement of a DYNAMIC "inner circle" of friends and family who kept me afloat. Through my precious, and often hilarious, children. And through Greg's constant support and love from 9,000 miles away. (I got flowers and cards, phone calls and emails!!!)

Was it a difficult 15 months? YES. Do I want to do it again? NO. However, I learned amazing things about my God, and I am grateful for that. And, in spite of the distance, Greg and I were able to grow our marriage and learn new things about each other that made us -- as individuals, and as a couple -- stronger. It is a year I would not take back.

So, today, I am praying for peace, strength and courage for my new friends, the Steiningers. Would you say a prayer for them, too? Thanks!

Oktoberfest!!!

I did it!

Today, I made a HUGE decision. Okay, it was HUGE for me. I decided to go to the PWOC (Protestant Women of the Chapel) fall "Worship and Study" retreat. No big deal, right? Well, YES. It is a big ol' deal for me!!!! I will be gone from Monday to Friday ... which is the longest amount of time I have EVER been away from my kids. Now, Greg and I have gone a way for long weekends together. I even traveled to Florida by myself for my friend Nicole's wedding several years ago. But never 4 nights away. It is not about Greg being here with the kids alone. He is an awesome dad. He is calm under pressure and knows how to take care of things around the house. He will wash the dishes and clean up after himself and the children (with their help, of course). That is just who he is. So, no worries there.

I guess is it just a "mommy" thing! I am going to miss them all like crazy, and I know it. Here is why I decided to go anyway: 1. I think it will be good for me and the kids to miss each other ... we'll appreciate being together ALL the time more when I return! 2. I think it will be good for Greg to see what it is like to be the daddy and the mommy for awhile. I did it for 15 months. So, it will just give us something else in common. I gained a newfound appreciation for HIS role in the home while he was gone ... and I'm sure he will do the same while I am gone. 3. I think I could use some time to focus on me ... and mostly my relationship with the Lord. Life has moved so fast the last couple of years! It will be nice to sit back, relax, think, pray, etc. I have this feeling God has some GREAT things to say to me ... and I can't wait to have the time to really LISTEN.

So, that's the decision I made today. I'm thankful for the opportunity! Blessed to have a husband who said, "Yes, you need this, GO!" and looking forward to a few days away! I'll let ya'll know how it goes. (It is not until the first week of November)