Different

Sometimes, things don't go "as planned." In fact, this is often the case. God, in His infinite wisdom, has a way of mixing things up. His reason? Don't always know. Can't say I always understand. However, I have learned to trust anyway. What I do know without a shadow of doubt -- He loves me. I matter to Him. I can walk forward in confidence ... even though the things I thought were going to be might not actually be! He knows best.

Reflections on my 40th ...

Okay, I've arrived. "Over the Hill." Thing is, I don't feel old at all! In fact, at 40, I'm feeling pretty good. Might have something to do with the incredible SURPRISE birthday party my husband threw for me. Or maybe it has to do with my little guy curling up in bed with me on Sept 2 and whispering, "Happy Birthday, Mommy" in my ear. It might just be the birthday lunch with my girlfriends ... or the offer of a friend to watch our kids so Greg and I could have a quiet dinner together. Honestly, it's a combination of all of the above ... plus a couple of other things I've been thinking about over the last few days. Here's why I'm happy to be 40 ...

Today, I am overwhelmingly more in love with my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ! He continues to use me (WOW) and fill me with the desire to serve Him. I have more of an understanding of forgiveness, mercy and grace than I did before. I now know that it is not about me and what I do for Him ... but it's all about HIM and how He works through me and changes me to be more like Him that counts. I know the relationship I have with HIM is only going to get better. I'm excited about that.

I am infinitely more confident in my marriage and assured of Greg's love for me and his commitment to our home and family than ever before. I met Greg when I was 26. And thankfully, in the last 14 years, he's rubbed off on me a lot! While we have much in common, the ways in which we are different were perfectly God designed. Greg is calm and cool in crisis. Never worries. He's an optimist, always. He has a vision and a plan. We've become quite a team. We're both aware of the fact that marriage takes work -- and willing to do what it takes. Didn't think I could love him more when we married, but I do. So blessed to daily be a part of what God is doing in his life and equally blessed that Greg is a part of what God is doing in me.

And a few other things ....

I'm past a lot of the insecurities of my twenties and thirties. Happy to be me.

Done with late night feedings, diaper changing and potty training!!!

I've laughed at myself so much over the years that it pretty much comes naturally. Thankful God has given me a good sense of humor, especially about my own shortcomings.

I've learned the power of being semi-organized, keeping a budget, living within your means ... and at the same time, how to be spontaneous enough to put all of that aside for some fun with family and friends.

Oh my, I could go on and on, but I've also learned, in my 40 years, not to write a BOOK every time I blog -- so my friends and family don't get bored! Anyway, Happy Birthday to me, and may the next 40 be as great!!!

(The picture is one from my party ... I got to wear a Tiara!)

Think on these things ...

I must admit, my mind is all cluttery lately. So much swirling around up there! And to be truly honest, I must further admit, I've felt anxious and worried. Yuck. Double yuck. So much change on the horizon for us. A move back to the States ... a new job for my hubby that entails significant time away from us ... a decision to homeschool my girls beginning in January ... and even more "junk" I won't even take the time to go in to! Then, to top it off, I hurt my knee. I don't know what I did and I don't even know exactly when I did it. What I do know is my running is being seriouly affected, and it is making me mad! I've had to really cut back -- and this week, I'm actually taking some days off. I even made an appointment with the physical therapy clinic here to see what in the world is going on ....

But enough about that. All to say, it's been a weird few days in my head. This morning, I woke up and said, "Enough is enough!" I sat down with my Bible and got serious about kicking the thoughts of doubt, fear, frustration, etc to the CURB. Thankfully, God remains an ever faithful constant in my life. No doubt He's just waited patiently for me to run to Him and lay my burdens at the Cross!

I quickly opened my Bible to Philippians 4:8. This is a verse I know well. In fact, a few months ago, I helped my girls memorize it. However, I needed to read it again. And write it down ... again. Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable -- if anything is excellent or praiseworthy -- think about such things ... and the God of Peace will be with you. I then turned to Matthew. Read some more in Philippians (God promises us the SAME power He used to raise His Son from the grave, WOW). Thank you, Lord, for pouring truth into my life! For helping me move beyond myself to understand the hope, peace and strength you have available for me! Today, I'm focusing on true, noble, right, pure and lovely thoughts ... and trusting HIM for resurrection power to face each new day. Hope you can do the same!

We're moving to CA!

By the way, for those of you who don't know, we finally got word that we'll be moving to Fort Irwin, CA this coming winter. Although we don't have official orders, we've been asked and accepted a job at one of the Army's National Training Centers ... in the middle of the Mojave desert!

Greg will be involved in training Chaplains as they prepare to deploy to Afghanistan. Sounds like a totally cool position for him ... and totally different than what we've been doing for the past two years here in Germany. But, we're excited about the possibilities. Never have lived in the desert before! Once again, we're up for the challenge.

And oh yeah ... it might get up to 120 degrees in the summer ... but it is a "dry heat."

smile.

I did it!

This morning, I rolled out of bed at 7, got dressed, cued up my Ipod and headed out for a jog around Robinson Barracks. My goal lately is to push myself harder, get fit -- and not remain satisfied with the thought, "Oh, ran my 2 miles this morning, I'm good to go." I've been running on the treadmill for months now, but it is SUPER hard to push myself on the treadmill. Yes, I can adjust my time, run some sprints, even add some incline. However, it is SOOOO boring. And lately, with no AC in the house and rising temps outside, it is SUPER hot!!

So, I'm moving outside, where in the early morning or late evening -- there is a BREEZE. Yes, have to deal with the serious inclines around here -- but that is good conditioning, right! And when I'm running outside, my pace is quicker and I don't notice the passing of time. It paid off this morning. I ran the "RB loop" and when I got back to the base, I felt so good that I ran it again! I know there are people who run faster than me. Yes, there are people who run farther. But I was pretty proud of my 5 miles today!

Seems like the older I get, the more I love a good challenge. Maybe I just want to prove to myself that I've still "got it" ... or maybe I love the adrenilin rush of an accomplished goal. I also love that I am teaching my kids to believe they can do whatever they set their minds to do. "I can't" just won't work in this house! Mostly, I am grateful to the Lord for giving me the ability to use my legs ... push myself ... and enjoy a quiet, early morning run in beautiful Stuttgart, Germany! Thanks, Lord. We did it! (I'm hoping to be ready to participate with several friends in a half-marathon in October if all works out schedule-wise ... I'll keep you updated!!!)

Limbo land

I cannot tell you the number of times I've sat down and started to blog. We've had an amazing couple of months! A trip to Paris ... school is over ... a fun day at Sensapolis for Ashley's birthday ... lots of neighborhood fun ... and I never even blogged on Father's Day -- even though I am filled with gratitude for the amazing Fathers in my life. My dad, father-in-law and hubby deserved a Father's Day post!!!

However, it's been tough for me to write lately. I think it is because we were living in "limbo land" for a few months. On March 31, got word that we would be moved this summer. And that was it. Days turned into weeks, weeks turned into months. And still no word on when, where, how, etc. It was frustrating! While we waited, we made no plans for the summer and backed out of some of our "commitments" for the fall (I gave up my much-loved role on the PWOC board ... but thankfully, God made it clear that the wonderful woman He picked as my replacement is TRULY the woman for the job. I'm blessed to "pass the torch" to Sherry!) And just waited. Now, don't get me wrong ... we didn't STOP! Our ministry has continued moving forward. But even still, we waited.

A week and a half ago, we found out that we will be moved in December. Without formal orders, we are still unsure of the "where" part. But at least now we know something more concrete. And it is much easier to know we have a few months to tie up loose ends.

So, I'm going to "backtrack" and blog about life since March 31 over the next few days. I'm ready to write!!!!!

To Mom

If there is one thing I've learned over the last 8 years, it is this: Being a mother is NOT always easy. I remember the panic I felt when my firstborn choked on a Cheerio ... and equal amounts of panic when she dropped to the ground for her first full-blown temper tantrum! And I won't even talk about the trauma of potty training (I think I FINALLY got it straight, the 3rd time around!) Anyway, on top of all of the tremendous blessing and joy of having children, it's tough work. So, today, while my precious family cooks lunch for me ... I must take a minute to thank two special moms in my life: Carolyn Schneider and Lynn McVey.

To my mother: I have a feeling that as I recant my mothering nightmares, you must smile just a bit. In the midst of sharing godly wisdom, you have to be thinking "ah, payback!" All teasing aside, I am grateful to you for so many reasons. I certainly learned how to "act like a lady" from you ... clean like a maniac ... wash clothes ... cook a meal, etc. But more importantly, I learned much about godly character, how to be obedient to the Lord (even when it's REALLY hard), and how to diligently serve others from you. You modeled what it means to trust the Lord, faithfully study His Word and willingly share it with others. I'm eternally grateful to you for helping me become the woman, wife and mother God wants me to be (yes, this is an ongoing process.) And of course, I must also mention that you are a GREAT grandmother. I'm thankful for all the ways you have taught our children what it means to love Jesus and follow Him. Today, even though I am thousands of miles away from you, I want you to know that I love you and Praise the Lord that you are my mother.

To my Mother-in-Law: Much of who Greg is today is due to your persitence and commitment to raising a godly family. And I know you had to put up with a lot! Even now, with Greg grown and gone from your house, I know we are daily thought about and prayed for by you. So while Greg thanks you (he did publicly in church this morning), I thank you as well. I'm really glad to be a part of your family and honored that you have always treated me with kindness and love. I don't think all daughters-in-law have it as great as I do! I truly believe you've made my job as a mommy easier by helping so much with the children when we are together. (Plus, Greg is an EXCELLENT help around the house ... and has always said I have you to thank for that!) We love you so much and thank the Lord for your continued influence in our lives and in the lives of our children, too. In this life of chaos the Lord has called us to, I am thankful for the consistency and stability you and Sam offer to us. Happy Mother's Day, Mom!

I'm grateful for the opportunity to recognize these two great mothers. Now ... off to eat some grilled chicken and shrimp, mashed potatoes, green bean casserole and rolls (I love my family!)