Different

Sometimes, things don't go "as planned." In fact, this is often the case. God, in His infinite wisdom, has a way of mixing things up. His reason? Don't always know. Can't say I always understand. However, I have learned to trust anyway. What I do know without a shadow of doubt -- He loves me. I matter to Him. I can walk forward in confidence ... even though the things I thought were going to be might not actually be! He knows best.

Reflections on my 40th ...

Okay, I've arrived. "Over the Hill." Thing is, I don't feel old at all! In fact, at 40, I'm feeling pretty good. Might have something to do with the incredible SURPRISE birthday party my husband threw for me. Or maybe it has to do with my little guy curling up in bed with me on Sept 2 and whispering, "Happy Birthday, Mommy" in my ear. It might just be the birthday lunch with my girlfriends ... or the offer of a friend to watch our kids so Greg and I could have a quiet dinner together. Honestly, it's a combination of all of the above ... plus a couple of other things I've been thinking about over the last few days. Here's why I'm happy to be 40 ...

Today, I am overwhelmingly more in love with my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ! He continues to use me (WOW) and fill me with the desire to serve Him. I have more of an understanding of forgiveness, mercy and grace than I did before. I now know that it is not about me and what I do for Him ... but it's all about HIM and how He works through me and changes me to be more like Him that counts. I know the relationship I have with HIM is only going to get better. I'm excited about that.

I am infinitely more confident in my marriage and assured of Greg's love for me and his commitment to our home and family than ever before. I met Greg when I was 26. And thankfully, in the last 14 years, he's rubbed off on me a lot! While we have much in common, the ways in which we are different were perfectly God designed. Greg is calm and cool in crisis. Never worries. He's an optimist, always. He has a vision and a plan. We've become quite a team. We're both aware of the fact that marriage takes work -- and willing to do what it takes. Didn't think I could love him more when we married, but I do. So blessed to daily be a part of what God is doing in his life and equally blessed that Greg is a part of what God is doing in me.

And a few other things ....

I'm past a lot of the insecurities of my twenties and thirties. Happy to be me.

Done with late night feedings, diaper changing and potty training!!!

I've laughed at myself so much over the years that it pretty much comes naturally. Thankful God has given me a good sense of humor, especially about my own shortcomings.

I've learned the power of being semi-organized, keeping a budget, living within your means ... and at the same time, how to be spontaneous enough to put all of that aside for some fun with family and friends.

Oh my, I could go on and on, but I've also learned, in my 40 years, not to write a BOOK every time I blog -- so my friends and family don't get bored! Anyway, Happy Birthday to me, and may the next 40 be as great!!!

(The picture is one from my party ... I got to wear a Tiara!)

Think on these things ...

I must admit, my mind is all cluttery lately. So much swirling around up there! And to be truly honest, I must further admit, I've felt anxious and worried. Yuck. Double yuck. So much change on the horizon for us. A move back to the States ... a new job for my hubby that entails significant time away from us ... a decision to homeschool my girls beginning in January ... and even more "junk" I won't even take the time to go in to! Then, to top it off, I hurt my knee. I don't know what I did and I don't even know exactly when I did it. What I do know is my running is being seriouly affected, and it is making me mad! I've had to really cut back -- and this week, I'm actually taking some days off. I even made an appointment with the physical therapy clinic here to see what in the world is going on ....

But enough about that. All to say, it's been a weird few days in my head. This morning, I woke up and said, "Enough is enough!" I sat down with my Bible and got serious about kicking the thoughts of doubt, fear, frustration, etc to the CURB. Thankfully, God remains an ever faithful constant in my life. No doubt He's just waited patiently for me to run to Him and lay my burdens at the Cross!

I quickly opened my Bible to Philippians 4:8. This is a verse I know well. In fact, a few months ago, I helped my girls memorize it. However, I needed to read it again. And write it down ... again. Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable -- if anything is excellent or praiseworthy -- think about such things ... and the God of Peace will be with you. I then turned to Matthew. Read some more in Philippians (God promises us the SAME power He used to raise His Son from the grave, WOW). Thank you, Lord, for pouring truth into my life! For helping me move beyond myself to understand the hope, peace and strength you have available for me! Today, I'm focusing on true, noble, right, pure and lovely thoughts ... and trusting HIM for resurrection power to face each new day. Hope you can do the same!

We're moving to CA!

By the way, for those of you who don't know, we finally got word that we'll be moving to Fort Irwin, CA this coming winter. Although we don't have official orders, we've been asked and accepted a job at one of the Army's National Training Centers ... in the middle of the Mojave desert!

Greg will be involved in training Chaplains as they prepare to deploy to Afghanistan. Sounds like a totally cool position for him ... and totally different than what we've been doing for the past two years here in Germany. But, we're excited about the possibilities. Never have lived in the desert before! Once again, we're up for the challenge.

And oh yeah ... it might get up to 120 degrees in the summer ... but it is a "dry heat."

smile.

I did it!

This morning, I rolled out of bed at 7, got dressed, cued up my Ipod and headed out for a jog around Robinson Barracks. My goal lately is to push myself harder, get fit -- and not remain satisfied with the thought, "Oh, ran my 2 miles this morning, I'm good to go." I've been running on the treadmill for months now, but it is SUPER hard to push myself on the treadmill. Yes, I can adjust my time, run some sprints, even add some incline. However, it is SOOOO boring. And lately, with no AC in the house and rising temps outside, it is SUPER hot!!

So, I'm moving outside, where in the early morning or late evening -- there is a BREEZE. Yes, have to deal with the serious inclines around here -- but that is good conditioning, right! And when I'm running outside, my pace is quicker and I don't notice the passing of time. It paid off this morning. I ran the "RB loop" and when I got back to the base, I felt so good that I ran it again! I know there are people who run faster than me. Yes, there are people who run farther. But I was pretty proud of my 5 miles today!

Seems like the older I get, the more I love a good challenge. Maybe I just want to prove to myself that I've still "got it" ... or maybe I love the adrenilin rush of an accomplished goal. I also love that I am teaching my kids to believe they can do whatever they set their minds to do. "I can't" just won't work in this house! Mostly, I am grateful to the Lord for giving me the ability to use my legs ... push myself ... and enjoy a quiet, early morning run in beautiful Stuttgart, Germany! Thanks, Lord. We did it! (I'm hoping to be ready to participate with several friends in a half-marathon in October if all works out schedule-wise ... I'll keep you updated!!!)

Limbo land

I cannot tell you the number of times I've sat down and started to blog. We've had an amazing couple of months! A trip to Paris ... school is over ... a fun day at Sensapolis for Ashley's birthday ... lots of neighborhood fun ... and I never even blogged on Father's Day -- even though I am filled with gratitude for the amazing Fathers in my life. My dad, father-in-law and hubby deserved a Father's Day post!!!

However, it's been tough for me to write lately. I think it is because we were living in "limbo land" for a few months. On March 31, got word that we would be moved this summer. And that was it. Days turned into weeks, weeks turned into months. And still no word on when, where, how, etc. It was frustrating! While we waited, we made no plans for the summer and backed out of some of our "commitments" for the fall (I gave up my much-loved role on the PWOC board ... but thankfully, God made it clear that the wonderful woman He picked as my replacement is TRULY the woman for the job. I'm blessed to "pass the torch" to Sherry!) And just waited. Now, don't get me wrong ... we didn't STOP! Our ministry has continued moving forward. But even still, we waited.

A week and a half ago, we found out that we will be moved in December. Without formal orders, we are still unsure of the "where" part. But at least now we know something more concrete. And it is much easier to know we have a few months to tie up loose ends.

So, I'm going to "backtrack" and blog about life since March 31 over the next few days. I'm ready to write!!!!!

To Mom

If there is one thing I've learned over the last 8 years, it is this: Being a mother is NOT always easy. I remember the panic I felt when my firstborn choked on a Cheerio ... and equal amounts of panic when she dropped to the ground for her first full-blown temper tantrum! And I won't even talk about the trauma of potty training (I think I FINALLY got it straight, the 3rd time around!) Anyway, on top of all of the tremendous blessing and joy of having children, it's tough work. So, today, while my precious family cooks lunch for me ... I must take a minute to thank two special moms in my life: Carolyn Schneider and Lynn McVey.

To my mother: I have a feeling that as I recant my mothering nightmares, you must smile just a bit. In the midst of sharing godly wisdom, you have to be thinking "ah, payback!" All teasing aside, I am grateful to you for so many reasons. I certainly learned how to "act like a lady" from you ... clean like a maniac ... wash clothes ... cook a meal, etc. But more importantly, I learned much about godly character, how to be obedient to the Lord (even when it's REALLY hard), and how to diligently serve others from you. You modeled what it means to trust the Lord, faithfully study His Word and willingly share it with others. I'm eternally grateful to you for helping me become the woman, wife and mother God wants me to be (yes, this is an ongoing process.) And of course, I must also mention that you are a GREAT grandmother. I'm thankful for all the ways you have taught our children what it means to love Jesus and follow Him. Today, even though I am thousands of miles away from you, I want you to know that I love you and Praise the Lord that you are my mother.

To my Mother-in-Law: Much of who Greg is today is due to your persitence and commitment to raising a godly family. And I know you had to put up with a lot! Even now, with Greg grown and gone from your house, I know we are daily thought about and prayed for by you. So while Greg thanks you (he did publicly in church this morning), I thank you as well. I'm really glad to be a part of your family and honored that you have always treated me with kindness and love. I don't think all daughters-in-law have it as great as I do! I truly believe you've made my job as a mommy easier by helping so much with the children when we are together. (Plus, Greg is an EXCELLENT help around the house ... and has always said I have you to thank for that!) We love you so much and thank the Lord for your continued influence in our lives and in the lives of our children, too. In this life of chaos the Lord has called us to, I am thankful for the consistency and stability you and Sam offer to us. Happy Mother's Day, Mom!

I'm grateful for the opportunity to recognize these two great mothers. Now ... off to eat some grilled chicken and shrimp, mashed potatoes, green bean casserole and rolls (I love my family!)

"Growing Old Together" ... not so bad!

The other day, Greg and I took the bikes out of storage, put air in the tires, donned our helmets and headed out for a lunch time bike ride! (Yep, we look like dorks, but what fun!!!) It was a spring day, my favorite time of year in Germany (really, anywhere) and with a friend watching Shane, it was AWESOME to have some time alone together ... even if we were gasping for breath and pedaling furiously uphill most of the time!!!!

As we rode along, I started thinking about the fact that it doesn't really feel like we're getting older. In fact, when it comes to Greg and me -- it really just feels like we keep getting BETTER! Honestly, after 11 years of marriage, we're more in love than the day we married (even though we thought that wasn't possible at the time). We're more comfortable with one another and more assured of the strength of our bond (or maybe its that we are more assured of God's faithfulness to be our strength when we are weak!) Its a great place to be and I imagine it will continue to get better as the years pass by. Not a bad thought at all!

Truth is: even if I could, I wouldn't go back to the early days of our marriage. I like where we are now! It has more to do with my own growth and maturing than with Gregs (Even though I LOVE what God has done in his life ... and he gets better looking by the day!!!!). I dealt with some pretty hefty insecurities in my mid to late 20s. Today, I'm more secure in the Lord and with myself. I am aware of what God has done to turn around my ability to over-analyze EVERYTHING, worry needlessly and probably drive my husband crazy! I'm thankful for the calm I usually feel (ok, Greg, maybe NOT at 6 am in the RyanAir terminal when 3 children are crying and our passports didn't get stamped appropriately ...). I have learned NOT to place unfair expectations on Greg. I continue to learn to place my hope, trust, self-worth, future, etc in the Hands of the All-capable Father, instead of burdening my husband with the "job" of fulfilling my every need.

So, all to say, I'm enjoying growing older ... especially with my amazing husband at my side ... and 3 great kids, who make me smile and laugh every day. I'm truly blessed and thankful for the life we have together, the ministry HE has given us and the opportunities ahead. (You guys remind me of this when the big 4-0 rolls around a few months from now.)

Oh, and, by the way, our bike ride was invigorating but short-lived the other day. My gears and tires were not co-operating. Eventually, we gave up and enjoyed lunch overlooking the vineyards. AMAZING!!!!!! Thanks, Greg, for a wonderful date lunch! Growing old with you is the best thing ever.

Spring Break!

This year, we decided to find somewhere WARM for our Spring Break trip. After much searching (hours and hours and hours trying to coordinate flights with places to stay, car rentals, things to do, etc, etc, etc), we decided to go to Alicante, Spain. And what a GREAT decision it was!

Our vacation began early in the morning on April 11. We left Stuttgart at 6:30, with very sleepy kids, to make our 9:20 RyanAir flight from Karlsruhe. RyanAir was an experience in itself! It is a low cost airline, with NO frills. We stood in the cold waiting to board the plane. There was no assigned seating, no free drink or food service and no in-flight movies! But, everything went great. Our flight was smooth. And we had only paid 11 euro per ticket to Spain (well, with some taxes and fees on top of that.)

During the week, we enjoyed the very "beachy" feel of Costa Blanca. Although the weather didn't cooperate the way we hoped it would (it was quite windy and cloudy) We walked on the beach ... played in the sand ... and enjoyed the sunshine (well, when it would finally appear). We went to Terra Mitica, a theme park and Terra Natura, a zoo. We also found some great play areas for the kids. And of course, we ate some great food. Our first big meal was at Tony Romas, one of our favorite bbq rib places in the States. It was so yummy! I think the highlight of the week was a restaurant we found at the end of the week, La Neuvo Alcazar. Food was amazing and we enjoyed talking with the owner of the restaurant. Ashley, Lexi and Shane spent most of the evening in front of the lobster tank. Unfortunately, those guys were probably dinner for someone later in the evening.

One thing we found very interesting about Spain was the schedule for meals. They eat breakfast late in the morning. Lunch is not until 2 or 3. Dinner is after 8 pm in the evening! Made it difficult for us to find open restaurants when our kids were ready to eat.

I think the highlight of the week for me was the fact that we rested. It was not a vacation where we drove for miles to see a castle or take a tour. We didn't do any sight-seeing at all. We mostly stayed close to home and took our time getting ready and getting out of the house every day. The kids loved where we were staying, so they were content to play in the backyard or watch movies while Greg and I drank coffee on the balcony off of the Master Bedroom in the mornings. We sat on the beach while the kids played in the sand. We had lots of opportunities to talk while they hit the playground or play area we had found. It was just what we needed!

Yesterday, April 16, we got up while it was still dark to make our way to the airport in Alicante to head home. Our flight took off at 6:30 and we were back in Stuttgart and on the way back to Robinson Barracks by 10! Although we were all tired from our early morning travels, we all agreed it was a GREAT vacation. Shane was ready to go back to Spain before the day was even over. I'll post pictures soon!

** by the way, our week was full of laughs! While at Terra Mitica, we were taking a boat tour around the park. At one point, we saw two Sea Gulls resting on some rocks. No big deal. Well, not to us. But Shane couldn't stop watching them. One was standing up, the other was sitting (is that how you say it????) Anyway, after staring those birds down for a few minutes, Shane turned to me and pointing at the bird that was sitting, said, "That one is broken." I love the way a 4-year old brain works!!!!!

The things that make me smile ...

I truly love being a mom. Sometimes, I'm tired. And yes, frustration occurs. But when I look at my children, I can't believe how much God has blessed me! Every single day my kids give me a reason to smile ... and laugh out loud. It's amazing to watch Ashley, Alexis and Shane grow and develop their own unique personalities and gifts. They might look alike ... but they are so different in so many ways. Today, I just thank the Lord for my kids and for giving Greg and me the opportunity to raise them. May we bring honor to the Lord as we do!

Happy New Year!

Can't believe it's 2010! Can't believe I am just now sitting down to do our yearly "State of the Family" Christmas letter. Truly, life offers many challenges. For me, finding time to do anything other than family, ministry and life in Germany in general is an overwhelming task!!! However, I know many of our family and friends pray for us ... and want to know what is going on with us. So, for you, I put together a summary of our 2009. I'll post some pics of the family too!

*** Greg is loving his job here! More like civilian pastoring than he has done in the past. He is the community chaplain for an all-housing post, so our ministry here is very family-focused. And it is awesome. The chapel has experienced unprecedented growth this year. We have a full (and amazing, I might add) Praise team and band. Children's church. Sunday school for all ages. Men's fellowship. Wednesday night small groups. The already established ladies' Bible study group has grown, too and is really the "backbone" of all the ministry that takes place here. Greg also spends a great deal of time counseling one-on-one or for couples. As you can tell, he stays BUSY. He also spends time at the gym daily (another good place to connect with people, while getting fit!!!) and has enjoyed doing some traveling this past year (more about that in a minute!)

*** For me, days consist of the normal "mommy" stuff and lots of ladies ministry stuff! Taught two Bible studies this past year ... and served as the "Titus 2 Advisor" on our PWOC (Protestant Women of the Chapel) board. Took on a new challenge this past summer as the Director for the Crocodile Dock VBS. Along with continued part-time writing, being available for ladies here on post, working out and struggling through 3rd grade math, life stays pretty busy!

*** Kids are doing great ... and growing fast! Ashley is in 3rd grade. She enjoyed playing soccer this past year and learning some German. In August, Greg had the opportunity to baptize her, a real highlight for both of us! Alexis is in 1st grade. She loves to ride her bike and scooter. Playing outside is truly her "thing." Shane, 3, brings a lot of joy to all of us. He became quite a "prayer warrior" over the summer. Loves to pray! I think we might have another "preacher boy" in the making in our house.

*** We were blessed to see some of Europe this year. Our spring break trip to Italy (Florence, Venice and Sienna) was amazing. Thought nothing could be more beautiful, until we camped with several friends in Jungfrau, Switzerland. Breathtaking. We also spent time in Strasbourg, France. We've also seen lots of Germany, including a couple of stays in the German Alps (we even took a cable car to the top of the highest mountain in Germany!) We've got a list a mile long of all the places we still want to see. The history and beauty of Europe has captivated all of us. Just so thankful for the opportunity the Lord has given us to see the world!!!

*** In May of 2009, Greg headed back to the States for a conference at Saddleback Church in California. The trip gave him the opportunity to learn a great deal ... and meet the family of his Chaplain assistant who passed away in late 2008. He also got to go SHOPPING (not of his own accord ... I sent him with a LIST). Then, in July, we all headed home to spend time with our families. It was a perfect trip and many wonderful memories were made. Worth every hour spent on the plane to and from! Shortly before Thanksgiving, Greg's parents were with us for two weeks. At Christmas, my parents came. So incredible for us to share our life here with our wonderful parents ... who have so faithfully prayed for us and supported the sometimes crazy path the Lord has placed us on.

Thanks so much for continuing to keep in touch with us through email, facebook messages and blog notes. We are so blessed to have an amazing network of family and friends across the United States who care about us and lift us up in prayer. Please know we are happy and content doing the Lord's work here. Still thankful God called us to Army Chaplaincy and still looking forward to what He has in our future.

Happy New Year to all of you!!!