A "Shane-ism" (as they are coming to be known in our house):
On Wednesday night, the girls were talking about all the things that I love (not sure why, but it was sweet!). Alexis said, "Mommy loves Daddy (so true, so true), us (again, correct) and her friends (yep!).
To which Shane sat straight up and with a shocked look on his face said to me, "YOU have friends??"
I guess to him, age 5, there is nothing beyond my husband and children that matters at all in this world. In many ways, he is right. Before I am a friend to others, I must be a wife and mom! Thankfully, however, God has given me some UN-BE-LIEVE-ABLE friends to walk with me through this journey of life ... and I am indeed grateful for each one.
Sunday, November 6, 2011
Wednesday, November 2, 2011
A "Take Home"
Last week, Greg and I had the opportunity to attend a week-long training in Charlotte, NC. We spent 5 days in class, getting certified to teach two different curriculums, "Seven Habits of Highly Effective Families" and "Couples Communication." All I can say is: Awesome. Not only are we prepared to teach these dynamic programs to others ... but we learned so much to apply to our own family!
For each class, we were given lots of "take homes" ... books, workbooks and other aids for presentation. But what I took home was a new understanding of how to communicate in my house in a way that respects all involved, allows everyone to feel "heard" ... and keeps the volume at normal!
I've already tried out my new skills and wanted to share some results ...
On Sunday morning, I told Shane (5 years old) to get dressed. He told me he wasn't ready, so I said, "Okay, but soon, because we have to leave ..." (My parents were here for the week while Greg and I were gone and we needed to get them to the airport.) A bit later, I called him upstairs and told him to get dressed. Again, "no." I started to get frustrated at his obvious disobedience. Again, I asked him to get dressed, and again, "no..."
Okay, here's where it gets good! Instead of getting really upset and demanding that he obey me, I took the time to look at his little face. He was biting his lip to hold back the tears.
I sat down in his big, red Pottery Barn chair and pulled him into my lap. "Shane, are you refusing to get dressed because you don't want to take mee maw and paw paw to the airport?" Big tears welled up. He shook his head yes. I sat and held him for a minute. I told him I didn't want them to go either. After lots of hugs, I asked Shane to get dressed. He got up ... and quickly obeyed. VICTORY! And not just because Shane didn't spend the day in his PJs ... but because I know he felt heard, comforted and loved ... and I got several minutes with my 5 year old cuddled in my lap!
Today ... it happened again. I gave my girls the opportunity to be heard and make their own decision about attending AWANAs after talking it through with me. It was peaceful and organized. No yelling. No tears. No stomping around. On the way to AWANAs, with a car full of happy kids, I decided to share with them how proud I was of how the situation at home was handled. I told them I was thankful the Lord was showing me how to communicate more effectively ... and how well they had done in response, including making a wonderful decision. The girls were smiling from ear to ear, they were proud, too! I ended with, "God is really good ..." Lexi chimed in with , "Yes, and He makes good plans ..." To which Shane added, " ... except for that bird over there." We laughed.
So, that is my "take home." And it really is nice! Maybe the lessons I learned about communication this past week are things you can "take home" too!
For each class, we were given lots of "take homes" ... books, workbooks and other aids for presentation. But what I took home was a new understanding of how to communicate in my house in a way that respects all involved, allows everyone to feel "heard" ... and keeps the volume at normal!
I've already tried out my new skills and wanted to share some results ...
On Sunday morning, I told Shane (5 years old) to get dressed. He told me he wasn't ready, so I said, "Okay, but soon, because we have to leave ..." (My parents were here for the week while Greg and I were gone and we needed to get them to the airport.) A bit later, I called him upstairs and told him to get dressed. Again, "no." I started to get frustrated at his obvious disobedience. Again, I asked him to get dressed, and again, "no..."
Okay, here's where it gets good! Instead of getting really upset and demanding that he obey me, I took the time to look at his little face. He was biting his lip to hold back the tears.
I sat down in his big, red Pottery Barn chair and pulled him into my lap. "Shane, are you refusing to get dressed because you don't want to take mee maw and paw paw to the airport?" Big tears welled up. He shook his head yes. I sat and held him for a minute. I told him I didn't want them to go either. After lots of hugs, I asked Shane to get dressed. He got up ... and quickly obeyed. VICTORY! And not just because Shane didn't spend the day in his PJs ... but because I know he felt heard, comforted and loved ... and I got several minutes with my 5 year old cuddled in my lap!
Today ... it happened again. I gave my girls the opportunity to be heard and make their own decision about attending AWANAs after talking it through with me. It was peaceful and organized. No yelling. No tears. No stomping around. On the way to AWANAs, with a car full of happy kids, I decided to share with them how proud I was of how the situation at home was handled. I told them I was thankful the Lord was showing me how to communicate more effectively ... and how well they had done in response, including making a wonderful decision. The girls were smiling from ear to ear, they were proud, too! I ended with, "God is really good ..." Lexi chimed in with , "Yes, and He makes good plans ..." To which Shane added, " ... except for that bird over there." We laughed.
So, that is my "take home." And it really is nice! Maybe the lessons I learned about communication this past week are things you can "take home" too!
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