I guess I'm just "mom"

A "Shane-ism" (as they are coming to be known in our house):

On Wednesday night, the girls were talking about all the things that I love (not sure why, but it was sweet!). Alexis said, "Mommy loves Daddy (so true, so true), us (again, correct) and her friends (yep!).

To which Shane sat straight up and with a shocked look on his face said to me, "YOU have friends??"

I guess to him, age 5, there is nothing beyond my husband and children that matters at all in this world. In many ways, he is right. Before I am a friend to others, I must be a wife and mom! Thankfully, however, God has given me some UN-BE-LIEVE-ABLE friends to walk with me through this journey of life ... and I am indeed grateful for each one.

A "Take Home"

Last week, Greg and I had the opportunity to attend a week-long training in Charlotte, NC. We spent 5 days in class, getting certified to teach two different curriculums, "Seven Habits of Highly Effective Families" and "Couples Communication." All I can say is: Awesome. Not only are we prepared to teach these dynamic programs to others ... but we learned so much to apply to our own family!

For each class, we were given lots of "take homes" ... books, workbooks and other aids for presentation. But what I took home was a new understanding of how to communicate in my house in a way that respects all involved, allows everyone to feel "heard" ... and keeps the volume at normal!

I've already tried out my new skills and wanted to share some results ...

On Sunday morning, I told Shane (5 years old) to get dressed. He told me he wasn't ready, so I said, "Okay, but soon, because we have to leave ..." (My parents were here for the week while Greg and I were gone and we needed to get them to the airport.) A bit later, I called him upstairs and told him to get dressed. Again, "no." I started to get frustrated at his obvious disobedience. Again, I asked him to get dressed, and again, "no..."

Okay, here's where it gets good! Instead of getting really upset and demanding that he obey me, I took the time to look at his little face. He was biting his lip to hold back the tears.

I sat down in his big, red Pottery Barn chair and pulled him into my lap. "Shane, are you refusing to get dressed because you don't want to take mee maw and paw paw to the airport?" Big tears welled up. He shook his head yes. I sat and held him for a minute. I told him I didn't want them to go either. After lots of hugs, I asked Shane to get dressed. He got up ... and quickly obeyed. VICTORY! And not just because Shane didn't spend the day in his PJs ... but because I know he felt heard, comforted and loved ... and I got several minutes with my 5 year old cuddled in my lap!

Today ... it happened again. I gave my girls the opportunity to be heard and make their own decision about attending AWANAs after talking it through with me. It was peaceful and organized. No yelling. No tears. No stomping around. On the way to AWANAs, with a car full of happy kids, I decided to share with them how proud I was of how the situation at home was handled. I told them I was thankful the Lord was showing me how to communicate more effectively ... and how well they had done in response, including making a wonderful decision. The girls were smiling from ear to ear, they were proud, too! I ended with, "God is really good ..." Lexi chimed in with , "Yes, and He makes good plans ..." To which Shane added, " ... except for that bird over there." We laughed.

So, that is my "take home." And it really is nice! Maybe the lessons I learned about communication this past week are things you can "take home" too!

Good Morning, Lord!

While in Germany, I helped out with the "Moppetts" program at the Chapel from time to time. We used to sing this song, "Good morning, Lord, this is your day, I am your child, show me your way!" It's sweet and catchy ... and I find myself singing it often. Makes me happy. Reminds me of where my focus should be, and that Jesus holds my day in HIS capable hands.

I NEED this reminder as all the "stuff" of life swirls around! Even today, we're working extra hard to finish up our homeschooling for the semester ... we've got doctor's appointments for the kids ... I have some writing to do this afternoon ... we're headed to San Diego tomorrow for the weekend (Sea World, here we come!) ... and yesterday, we finalized our plans for an East Coast visit to our families, in THREE WEEKS! Oh yeah, and I missed the registration day for Kindergarten, so that's got to get done QUICKLY. So, I'm ending this blog and getting to WORK ... with a song in my heart -- God is in control!

Soon, I'm planning to blog about Greg's work here ... I know we've got some friends out there who would like to know what in the world we're doing in the Mojave desert.

Have a GREAT day!

Let me explain ...

I've decided to change the name of my blog. New title ... new inspiration, right! Goodness, that is what I am hoping. I write blogs in my brain all the time. ALL THE TIME. Finding the time to actually translate them from the "brain blog" to this one, well that's where I run into trouble. But, I'm turning over a new leaf, hence a new title!

And, for all practical purposes, it TOTALLY makes sense! It's a PUN that describes my life to a "T." First of all, Philippians 4:11 is quite meaningful for me. It says, "... for I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content:" (NKJV) This is my prayer! It's Greg's life verse, and honestly, he's really good at it. Contentment comes naturally to him. Not so much for me. I crave change ... then, I freak out when it actually comes! So, contentment is my daily prayer. And God is incredibly faithful. So, why is contentment so important in my life these days ...

Well, (second part of the pun), we've lived in a lot of STATES lately! Five years ago, when we joined the army, we lived in Gaffney, SC. Kids and I moved to Richmond Hill, GA while Greg moved (for a few months) to Columbia, SC. We stayed in GA while he went to Afghanistan for 15 months. Then, we ALL moved to Stuttgart, Germany for 2 1/2 years. Now, we're settled in the sandy desert, Fort Irwin, CA. All the circumstantial stuff that comes with moving ... well, that's why I pray for contentment! (And honestly, past contentment, I pray for JOY, JOY, JOY)

So, welcome to my new blog, "Whatever State I'm in," based on Phil. 4:11 and our nomadic life. But know this right from the start ... the McVeys are blessed to serve the Lord and go where HE sends us!

There are no words ...

I'm hanging my head in shame! I couldn't even remember my blog address at first when I tried to sign in. Ugh! Many apologies. Since I last blogged ... well, we MOVED from Stuttgart, Germany to Fort Irwin, CA. I started homeschooling Ashley and Lexi. Greg started a somewhat CRAZY new position as a Chaplain trainer. I started doing a little writing "on the side" ... and well, life has just kept me too busy to blog! But, I seriously want to TRY to get back into this. So many things have happened that I would like to share. So ... I think I'm going to truly START OVER. Even been thinking of a new name for my "new and improved" blog. So ... in the next few days, everything is going to CHANGE. Change is good, right? Boy, I've dealt with enough of it in the last few months!!!!

Different

Sometimes, things don't go "as planned." In fact, this is often the case. God, in His infinite wisdom, has a way of mixing things up. His reason? Don't always know. Can't say I always understand. However, I have learned to trust anyway. What I do know without a shadow of doubt -- He loves me. I matter to Him. I can walk forward in confidence ... even though the things I thought were going to be might not actually be! He knows best.

Reflections on my 40th ...

Okay, I've arrived. "Over the Hill." Thing is, I don't feel old at all! In fact, at 40, I'm feeling pretty good. Might have something to do with the incredible SURPRISE birthday party my husband threw for me. Or maybe it has to do with my little guy curling up in bed with me on Sept 2 and whispering, "Happy Birthday, Mommy" in my ear. It might just be the birthday lunch with my girlfriends ... or the offer of a friend to watch our kids so Greg and I could have a quiet dinner together. Honestly, it's a combination of all of the above ... plus a couple of other things I've been thinking about over the last few days. Here's why I'm happy to be 40 ...

Today, I am overwhelmingly more in love with my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ! He continues to use me (WOW) and fill me with the desire to serve Him. I have more of an understanding of forgiveness, mercy and grace than I did before. I now know that it is not about me and what I do for Him ... but it's all about HIM and how He works through me and changes me to be more like Him that counts. I know the relationship I have with HIM is only going to get better. I'm excited about that.

I am infinitely more confident in my marriage and assured of Greg's love for me and his commitment to our home and family than ever before. I met Greg when I was 26. And thankfully, in the last 14 years, he's rubbed off on me a lot! While we have much in common, the ways in which we are different were perfectly God designed. Greg is calm and cool in crisis. Never worries. He's an optimist, always. He has a vision and a plan. We've become quite a team. We're both aware of the fact that marriage takes work -- and willing to do what it takes. Didn't think I could love him more when we married, but I do. So blessed to daily be a part of what God is doing in his life and equally blessed that Greg is a part of what God is doing in me.

And a few other things ....

I'm past a lot of the insecurities of my twenties and thirties. Happy to be me.

Done with late night feedings, diaper changing and potty training!!!

I've laughed at myself so much over the years that it pretty much comes naturally. Thankful God has given me a good sense of humor, especially about my own shortcomings.

I've learned the power of being semi-organized, keeping a budget, living within your means ... and at the same time, how to be spontaneous enough to put all of that aside for some fun with family and friends.

Oh my, I could go on and on, but I've also learned, in my 40 years, not to write a BOOK every time I blog -- so my friends and family don't get bored! Anyway, Happy Birthday to me, and may the next 40 be as great!!!

(The picture is one from my party ... I got to wear a Tiara!)